I used to be someone who hated being alone. Every moment spent in my own company was a moment to be fixed – a moment to be fixed by introducing the company of others. I used to hate coming home to an empty apartment. All I wanted was to feel the warmth of someone’s arms around me. Lately, I’ve felt a shift – I’ve noticed myself finding time to myself to be not only enjoyable, but crucial to finding and being who I am. Through being alone, I’ve learned to love myself completely for everything that I am.
I’ve learned that what you are is what you attract. When you know what you want and you know who you are, you become a person who is fully capable of attracting people who are similar to and seeking out the qualities you have nurtured in yourself. The relationship that I have with myself is the most important one of all. It is the one that supersedes all other relationships. I’ve learned that before I belong to anyone else, I belong to myself.
I’ve learned that I love being alone. I love taking walks by myself, I love listening to my own thoughts, and I love the freedom to be me without wondering what anyone else is thinking. I am my own best friend. I love wondering. I love finding myself as I’m wondering. I love the feeling of writing without knowing what I’m about to uncover.
I even love that feeling of excruciating loneliness that forces you to understand truly how important it is to be there for yourself, and to be kind to yourself. I love the moments of clarity that come when you’re crying alone in the darkness, and you realize that nothing in your life was ever random. Somehow, as you lie under the stars, you realize that you are changing. You will never be the same. You will never need anyone the way you used to need people. You will always prioritize yourself, and you will never bend over backwards to appease anyone else ever again. You realize that you have tremendous value, and that you’ll never allow anyone to take that away from you. You realize that you will always put your dreams and priorities first.
I’ve learned that self-discovery is a life-long commitment, and not just a temporary project.
You realize that the person you need to be with is a person who will make you a better version of yourself. The person you need to be with is the person who will love and push you to be everything you are, and more. I’ve learned that I won’t accept anything less than someone who loves me for exactly who I am, and who loves me for all of the reasons that I love myself. I’ve learned that knowing yourself and understanding what you’re made of is crucial to the success of any relationship – and most importantly, the relationship you have with yourself.
Loving myself completely is the greatest gift solitude has ever given me, and I am happy.