I want to devour those pages
those words, intoxicating fantasy
the pit in my stomach,
Ravage you, cover to cover
I want to feel your cobblestones against the soles of my feet and revel in the sunshine playing off of your shoulders
The window gaze reflecting sharply searing into my consciousness
Take me down a little dirt road to faraway England where the sun shines down on the fields of peat
Take me through forests
Replete with dew
The smell of cinder in the trees
Take me through twists and turns to that old bar
Brett Ashley smoking in the corner
lazy gaze of wine, drunk, and afternoon glistening in her eyes
Take me running through glittering cities
the grates hitting our heels endless causeways
and then lead me back to that forgotten orange
Sitting in the fruit bowl placed up high
Long gone summers, kisses, laughter
Take me through those corners and tell me why you always keep the light on in that empty room just in case
I want to feel those corners like they’re mine
Memorize the pages, run them across my tongue like aged honey
Filling my chest like love found,
Like love lost.
Take me back to the time we were sitting in that old Chevrolet and the dust was catching the sun just right across the windshield, lazy day in 1979
You put your sunglasses on and kissed me and everything felt like cigarette smoke and sunshine.
You tiptoed away into the forest
the leaves fell sylvan green
branches crossed light filtered through
the specks of light turned shadows
You looked back at me a moment
I thought I felt your hand against mine
it was just the warmth of the sun trickling through the trees.
And when the fog lifted
rubble, boots, rivers
the things you whispered still floating in the air
I realized that it was just me.
maybe I like the quiet of my footsteps when I walk down the hallway alone
maybe I like the caress of the cold wind on my cheek
and maybe I like the electric feel
of things that are yet to be
reaching for the streetlights, grasping
the blur-bright of sparks on lamp posts the quiet lights.
inside something was expanding and floating away ever further
we didn’t see it go
traipsing down the alleyways we walked
under the bridge and it was gone forever.
Where does the wind go when we’re gone?
twisting through the trees
winding through the fenceposts
where does it go when we leave?
the years will carry these leaves
far, far away from here
the gravel under our feet just a memory.
where does the wind go?
a few moons
sitting searching for that
you left those flowers in the hallway
they’re wilted but they still feel like home
pacing up the hall
padded feet and the smell of sunflowers
carried away in the wind
dandelions, they never found their place.
but you’re there as they swirl around me and
you’re there as the waters churn and the ocean
carves at the shore and you’re there
as the sands shift with the tides
and i remember those old piano keys
they’re covered in dust
those stars over that wooden deck we built in the backyard
that fire burning off in the distance and
i feel rain pattering in my quiet thoughts.
but i feel warm when you wrap me in your blanket
and i feel safe in the sunshine of your smile
and i feel home when i walk up those wooden stairs
and i see you standing there.
i’ve lived 4 lives in 2 years.
streaks of light tunnels racing
scenery like a film reel flashing
you told me you didn’t love me
i drank whiskey, dark, forgotten words
and then there was laughter
skipping down an empty sidewalk,
and a midnight moon
can we stay here forever?
i don’t want to forget
does forever exist?
it’s getting so loud
and we’re moving so fast
all of a sudden the deafening roar
The lights snap, bursting white sparks into black
Dark, vast… where?
The end of the tracks
cut the noise like a sliver
This is where 4 lives end
And one begins
I can still hear their voices.