The Times We Live In: A Mindful Approach – How to Live with Courage and Love in a Time of Fear and Hatred

It’s a tough time to be alive. We live in a time where hate crimes are a regular occurrence and where random acts of violence appear on the news every other day. We live in a time where normal people are killed mercilessly as they do everyday things like run marathons, attend parades, have a night out or simply walk around the neighborhood. This is a time where it’s much easier to focus on everything that’s going wrong – it’s a time that’s making it much harder for us to see the things that are actually going right.

We post on social media and express our disgust, fear, hatred and sadness about the events going on around us, and we focus on everything that’s bad in this world. In a sense, we rubberneck as the car accident happens, and then we spread and perpetuate the experience of fear and negativity by posting photographs and commentary online. Very few of us are doing anything to solve the problem – we simply point out what is wrong, and then social media allows the fear and hatred to spread like wildfire. The more we focus on the negative, the bigger it seems. The more we focus on the negative, the more it becomes all we see. What we need to recognize is that this world is not “going downhill*” and that the people performing these acts of violence don’t illustrate society as a whole – they illustrate a small, hateful population that is getting a lot of press.

*note: current US election not included in this sweeping generalization about the world not going downhill

I want to challenge us to focus on the good things that are happening in the world. I want to challenge us to focus on the positive events that still exist and have always existed – the positive energy that we’re actually inhibiting by spreading the fear, hatred and negativity. This isn’t to say that we should be ignorant; we should all be aware of the events that are unfolding across the globe. But what we should do instead of throwing more hatred into the mix is to throw more LOVE out into the world every chance we get. We need to break the cycle of negativity by interrupting it with love. What if instead of focusing on the random, unexpected acts of violence, we focused on performing random, unexpected acts of love? Could we cause a domino affect that would break the cycle, setting off a new chain reaction? What we look for in life tends to be what we find. What we focus on changes our experience of what happens. Our thoughts manifest – and this isn’t touchy-feely spiritual nonsense…this is physics.

Negativity is a defense mechanism, and it’s a defense mechanism that is outdated. It stems from survival instinct – we almost use negativity to try to “prevent” bad things from happening to us. In this day and age, we don’t need that – it doesn’t help us. We can’t prevent bad things from happening, and our very focus on them is what gives the fear and hatred fuel to multiply. Negative thoughts create negative actions, which in turn create more negative thoughts, actions and events. We need to develop a new, better defense mechanism – and that defense mechanism is called positivity. If we focus on positive energy and the good things going on in the world, we promote a cycle of love, acceptance and gratitude – and it multiplies.

Here are the things we should be focusing on and the things we should be doing more of – especially in times like these:

  1. Focus on positive energy and events
  2. Focus on the beauty in this world (it’s everywhere!)
  3. Focus on the good people in this world
  4. Focus on the love of our friends and family
  5. Focus on our goals
  6. Focus on giving love to others in spades
  7. Focus on helping others
  8. Focus on our similarities and not our differences
  9. Focus on our humanity
  10. Volunteer time to help others
  11. Promote love
  12. Promote courage
  13. Smile more
  14. Hug more
  15. Show your love more frequently
  16. Spend more time with your loved ones
  17. Focus on the things you want to do, and do them
  18. Make sure every day of your life is happy
  19. Make changes if you’re not happy
  20. Appreciate everything. Little moments, big moments, and everything/everyone you have
  21. Forgive people who have wronged you (let go, for yourself and for them)
  22. Keep looking up
  23. Create beauty wherever you go
  24. Be so, so grateful to be alive.

Why don’t we focus on the great things? Let’s become fountains of love and positivity. Let’s be so, so, so kind to one another that we soften the hardened hearts around us and prove that there is still so much boundless love to be found in this world. Let’s keep looking for the light, always.

The Shanghai Smog-pocalypse. Air pollution is real, people. And it gets ugly.

Smog Shanghai

First, a story.

The wind whistles through the crevices of the buildings, creating an eerie feel as I huddle in a dimly lit room next to a radiator heater. Visibility has been reduced to almost nothing. When I look out the window over my mother’s balcony, I can only see a few of the buildings in front of me, while the rest are cloaked in what appears to be a thick, impenetrable fog. What appears to be fog is really a thick, suffocating mass of pollutants and poisonous particulate matter. That fog is made up of larger particulate matter which can be blocked using a modest dust mask, and invisible particulate matter (PM 2.5s) – a poisonous particle so small (2.5 microns) it can pass through a heavy duty gas mask. PM 2.5 levels today are at 365 microns, a level 15 times higher than the maximum recommended exposure (25 microns) over a period of 24 hours by the World Health Organization.

Shanghai Air Quality Index on Dec 6 - 415 to 500 to Beyond Index

Air Quality Index on Dec 6 – 415 to 500 to Beyond Index

My throat is raw and choked, and my lungs hurt as I dejectedly breathe the poisonous air from inside my mother’s apartment. Small, shallow breaths are all I can bear to take, and each breath I take makes me dizzier than the last. Both of my parents developed a high fever overnight, with body aches and chills that did not let up through the night. Today, we went to the hospital to get medication for my mom, whose lungs were burning. Every breath she took caused her to react with a wheezing cough that sounded so painful it made me feel sad.

After donning our 3M P95 particulate masks, we stepped outside into the massive fog of smog and got into a cab in search of the nearest hospital. When we got there, I witnessed one of the most depressing scenes


I have ever seen. Dozens of elderly people were on respirators, strapped to gurneys and lined up in the hallways. The hospital had chosen to perform heavy construction and to remodel the place on one of the days with the worst air quality since the infamous December 6th, where flights were canceled and children and the elderly were ordered to stay inside. The construction was sending more pollutants into the air, but no one seemed to care.

This was a country that valued industry and productivity above all else – even at the cost of the well-being of its citizens and of the world. The sight of this infuriated me. Affected elderly were lined up on gurneys, choking in the hallway on cigarette smoke that was aggravating the already dire situation. I glared at the people smoking in the hallway. They casually brought cigarettes to their lips, flicking the embers onto the ground. Lung cancer was not a concern, it seemed. To my left, a distraught middle aged woman repeatedly wailed and sobbed “mother” as she threw herself on the ground in agony. Her mother had just died. balcony

My mother was feeling faint and her condition was getting worse. She tried to ignore the middle aged woman’s incessant sobs and screams. After what felt like an hour of waiting in the smoke choked hallway, we finally saw a doctor. The diagnosis? We both had developed an upper respiratory tract infection brought on by excessive exposure to pollutants. I had only been in Shanghai for 4 days. After receiving our antibiotics, we scoured the city for home air purifiers, something my sister mentioned would improve our health and breathing dramatically. After enduring 5 consecutive cab rides in the poisonous haze, we found that all air purifiers across the city were completely sold out. Dramatic as it may sound, it felt like the apocalypse. I called my sister, hyperventilating and crying. “Quit freaking out,” she said, “the more you freak out, the more air you’ll breathe in. Calm down.” I told her I could taste the particulate matter on my tongue and I could feel it in my lungs. I could taste it when I coughed, and I could smell it when I blew my nose. A Chinese chef, Alan Yu described the taste best when he wrote a satirical tasting note on the air in Shanghai:

“Today, Shanghai air really has a layered taste. At first, it tastes slightly astringent with some smokiness. Upon full contact with your palate, the aftertaste has some earthy bitterness, and upon careful distinguishing you can even feel some dust-like particulate matter.”

Skyline Smog

For those of you who don’t already know, breathing in air pollution and the intake of PM 2.5 particles is directly linked to lung cancer. Don’t believe me? Click here to see the World Health Organization’s article on Click here to read a recent LA Times article titled “Lung Cancer: A Cloud on China’s Horizon.” The extremely disturbing LA Times article contains unnerving statistics about children from non-smoking families as young as 8 and 16 being diagnosed with lung cancer in Shanghai and Beijing. The Chinese government has done everything to try to hide this from its citizens, blocking news and opinion websites with accurate information about related health risks and writing articles minimizing and downplaying the danger. “If your child isn’t coughing, then he or she is not affected by the smog,” one Chinese article read. “You only need to start worrying if your child actually starts coughing.” I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW ANGRY I FELT WHEN I READ THAT.

When breathing (something you do every day, and every second) becomes something this problematic, it becomes an issue that is top of mind. The average human breathes in 7-8 liters of air per minute, totaling about 11,000 liters a day. When the air you’re breathing is actually POISON, this becomes a major issue. (Duh!) This problem doesn’t just affect Shanghai. Particulate matter originating in China has been found in the United States already, and it doesn’t just go away.

If choking on poisonous air particles and smog isn’t your idea of a nice way to live, please take the following steps to help reduce pollution in your area. Let’s keep San Francisco air clean and do our part to make sure this never happens to us.  You will feel better about yourself and be confident that you’re part of the solution and not the problem. We all need more of these people in the world.


At Home

  • Conserve energy – turn off appliances and lights when you leave the room.
  • Recycle paper, plastic, glass bottles, cardboard, and aluminum cans. (This conserves energy and reduces production emissions.)
  • Plant deciduous trees in locations around your home to provide shade in the summer, but to allow light in the winter.
  • Wash clothes with warm or cold water instead of hot.
  • Lower your thermostat and run the heater sparingly.
  • Use low-VOC or water-based paints, stains, finishes, and paint strippers.
  • BIKE! Whenever you can. It’s fun, healthy & emission free.

Buy Smart

  • Buy ENERGY STAR products, including energy efficient lighting and appliances.
  • Choose gas efficient, low-polluting cars. Drive a hybrid if you can.
  • Choose products that have less packaging and are reusable.
  • Shop with a canvas bag instead of using paper and plastic bags.
  • Buy rechargeable batteries for devices used frequently.

Drive Wise

  • Keep tires properly inflated and aligned. (You’ll use less gas.)
  • In the summertime, fill gas tank during cooler evening hours to cut down on evaporation. Avoid spilling gas and don’t “top off” the tank. Replace gas tank cap tightly.
  • Avoid waiting in long drive-thru lines, for example, at fast-food restaurants or banks. Park your car and go in.
  • When possible, use public transportation, walk, or ride a bike.
  • Get regular engine tune ups and car maintenance checks, smog checks.
  • Use an energy-conserving (EC) grade motor oil.
  • Carpool.