Lentils

“No reason to lie when you can shock them with the truth. It’s more interesting anyway,” you said.

Lentils, cooked or not, are still lentils. They just smell different. I squeezed them tightly in palm of my hand.

“Anthony, why’d you give me cooked lentils? That’s so weird. Why are you so weird?” He always loved lentils. The red kind, not the green.

“Anthony. Darling. Let’s walk up this hill and catch the last sunset together. It’ll be worth it. I’ll buy you a home by the sea, just like you wanted.”

You asked me why.

“Because that’s what people do when they love each other, Anthony. That’s what we do.”

For the unforgettable – Ecuadorian flute bearing – MJ.

-mh-

Any Excuse

I’ll take any excuse to love you

So explain to me that the sky isn’t blue

That this pain I’m feeling isn’t real

Tell me that people don’t really have two hands Tell me we’ll live forever

even though I know someday we all have to go

I’ll take any excuse to love you

Any excuse to believe that this might somehow work Tell me that when you paused

when I asked if you thought we’d be together always

That you really meant yes

Flowers

Covered spaces, cracks in the pavement

The way our smiles lit up dusk like twilight

Love me forever

If only for this moment in time

Light up my life my heart like fireworks

Blanket my soul

We didn’t notice the dandelion seeds blowing in

endless roads, distance, causeways for miles and miles

We’ll take these trails hand in hand forever

didn’t notice the foxtails in the distance,

flowers got in the way

The movies

sun setting over highway 94

your voice still an echo fading,

distant sunlight

you know i’m driving all the way to chicago,

i don’t know if i’m ever coming back home.

i remember the way you used to look at me

you didn’t know i longed for you the same.

melt my heart into your pillow

don’t you know your smile shoots

darts like sunbeams?

i know the days we walked in darkness

were numbered, so numbered

if these streets could talk they’d tell you

that i still remember

sand dollars, that one day

and i wanted you so badly

i wanted so badly for you to be the one.

Salt

salt and snow gravel grind beneath your shadow smile

miles and miles,

left behind the train tracks skidding with the pebbles dancing off the rails as we race on by.

Don’t you know we’re going to Alaska?

you say laughing, throwing your hat into the air

throwing

your

hat

into

the

air

for a moment all i see is your joy

and in that moment i know that nothing else matters

-mh-

Wrap Me

wrap my heart in embers

encase my chest in cloth wrap it stop it from breaking

or at least hold its shattered pieces together

wrap it in steel so I can’t feel the quaking

the chasms

roaring rivers running through canyons

filled with lions

cool it with breezes, funnel in light

hold me so hard that it stops hurting

hold me hard and plant flowers in my emptiness

I want to watch them bloom in the springtime

please

remind me that everything dies but that there is new life

Hard

so many words i wanted to say

untouched spaces, fragments, mind

untouched heart caverns, rivers

shattered, blind

and where is the hard,

where is it when all i see is water, ruins, drown

your softness cuts into my chest

empty cave, gravel grinding, crush

dark and where, where is the hard

where is the hard when the very place

where i once felt safe now scares me to death

dark corners, mirrors, walls and walls and walls

pain, no love to be found.